Peer Critique Materials for Essay #2 Drafts

Essay #2 requires you to analyze the historical significance of a primary source from the 1930s or 1940s. Your goal as a writer is to present an arguable, well-focused thesis developed logically and supported by effectively analyzed evidence. Each paragraph of the essay should have a clear purpose in advancing the thesis.

Your primary goal as a peer respondent is to help writers in your group to reach the goals described above.

Today in Class

We will begin by developing a list of criteria for evaluating Essay #2 drafts.  Refer to the list as you read through each draft.

You will need to do the following for each of the drafts you critique:

• Each student should complete and receive two critiques. Write "Critique" on the top of all drafts for which you are responsible. Put your name on all drafts you critique, and on any notes you make for the writers. Without names, I cannot give peer respondents credit for their work. 
• Each writer should explain to the group any particular concerns or questions she or he has about the draft. Peer respondents for this writer should note these concerns on their copy of the draft. 
• Give one copy of your draft to Kimberlee

By the beginning of class on Wednesday, you should have done the following for each draft: margin comments, a descriptive outline, a grid and suggestions for revision. Although you can print in the margins of the draft, you must type your descriptive outlines and overall suggestions for revision. You should plan to spend 90 minutes on each critique.

Margin Comments

Use the following guidelines to comment in the margins of both drafts:

• Read though the essay twice, once to get an overview of the argument, organization, development, and style and again to make comments.
• Evaluate the writer’s thesis in the margins of the essay. Does it present an argument about the primary source? Are there points raised in the essay that are not clarified in the thesis paragraph? Does the thesis forecast points not addressed in the essay? 
• In the margins of the paper, identify at least one of the writer's strengths. Explain why you think the author has done something effectively (for example, used evidence well, made a logical connection between two ideas, etc.).
• In the margins of the paper, identify places where the writer could develop the argument. Pose questions that you think will help the writer develop the argument or explain why the argument isn't convincing to you. 
• In the margins of the paper, identify places where evidence is used well and where it is used ineffectively. Explain why the writer’s use of evidence is more or less effective in these places.
• Choose a paragraph to critique in terms of style and grammar. Does the writer need to reorder sentences? Rewrite them? Combine them? Vary their structure? Does the writer need to use stronger transitions between points? Do you see a particular pattern of grammatical errors in this paragraph? 
• In all of your comments, make sure you have addressed the writer’s questions and concerns.

Complete a grid for each writer.

Descriptive Outline

On a separate sheet, type a descriptive outline of the paper. Writing a descriptive outline helps peer editors formulate a clear sense of the structure and development of a draft. Reading a descriptive outline helps writers to see their work through a reader’s eyes, to determine if what they have written is what they meant to write, and to evaluate the effectiveness of their organizational structure. To prepare a descriptive outline: 

1. Number the paragraphs in the draft.
2. Restate the thesis or central claim of the essay in your own words. The thesis may not be completely clear in the opening paragraph. You may need to add to your restatement as you work through the essay. If you have had to infer the thesis, note this in your restatement.
3. For each paragraph:

• List the main assertion or topic of the paragraph.
• In a sentence or two, summarize what the paragraph says.
• Indicate the paragraph’s function in the essay. In other words, what is the writer trying to do in this paragraph (for example, develop a sub-argument related to the thesis, present and analyze evidence, etc.)?
• Note how the paragraph relates back to the thesis and explain how you know.

Review your margin comments, grid, and descriptive outline, then type three suggestions the writer can use to revise the essay. Place these suggestions in order of priority, considering what the writer needs to do first in order to produce a more effective draft. Be specific with your suggestions, offering the writer strategies for revision if possible.