I struggle with anxiety and have even had panic attacks before. For me, feeling hungry often induces feelings of anxiety- I start to feel weak and faint, and I worry that I will pass out. I also annoyingly have a fast metabolism in which I get hungry quite often but can only eat rather small amounts of food at a time before I get full. However, as a busy woman, I don’t have time to stop whatever I’m doing every 3 hours in order to prepare or acquire food and eat. It’s also burdensome to have to constantly carry extra food with me wherever I go. I sometimes feel at war with my hunger. My ex-boyfriend used to get mad at me whenever I would get hunger-induced anxiety, because it put a burden on him to have to immediately find food for me. Sometimes, even going to restaurants is hard when I am really hungry and I know that I am going to have to wait to get my food. I just want to be like a normal person who can deal with feeling hungry without feeling like I’m going to faint.
Therefore, our contemplative practice on sitting with our hunger was extremely powerful for me. I was struck very deeply when our professor said, “imagine that you don’t know when or how you are going to eat your next meal.” For me as a privileged Westerner, I always know that I can obtain food somehow whenever I am hungry- and yet being hungry still is an extremely uncomfortable, anxiety-inducing feeling for me. To think about the extreme anxiety one must feel to not only be hungry but not know where your next meal will come from is unfathomable to me.